Welcome Baby Sam!

We have a brand new baby boy! Sam Alexander Starr was born Wednesday, November 27, 2013 at 10:33 a.m. He weighed 9 lbs., 6 oz. and was 21 inches long. We named him after my pawpaw Sam and Jeremy's pawpaw, John "Alexander." Oh, and I must say, he is perfect. We arrived at Ochsner around 8 a.m., with the C-section scheduled for 10 a.m. I wasn’t as scared this time around. But I was still pretty nervous going in. The room was freezing and I still hate needles. But the spinal tap wasn’t so bad, and in seconds, I was numb. Dr. Parise got started and at one point, they were just waiting for Jeremy to arrive. In less than a minute after Jeremy walked in, they were pulling the baby out. It was all so fast, and of course, Jeremy had to look over the curtain to see everything. He even took pictures… not really appropriate for facebook. The doctors took about 45 minutes to “sew” me back up and Jeremy told the family the good news, another boy!

I’ve been recovering slowly, but steadily. My incision still hurts, even two weeks after the C-section. But it’s getting better each day. And it was much better than the alternative! Sam sleeps most of the day and most of the night, which is more than we could ask for. We took his newborn photos a few days ago and I can’t wait to see all of the images. We’ve had quite a few visitors over to welcome Sam, which is always nice. We appreciate all of the love and help. Jasper is a great big brother. He even lets Sam play with his trains. Our pediatrician told us that he may start getting a little jealous after about six weeks, but I’m trying to stay optimistic. I like to think they’ll grow up as best friends.

 Jeremy went back to work this week. He has been so helpful, taking care of all three of us and keeping up with all of the family chores. When I couldn’t get out of bed, he was waking up for all of the feedings, and then helping me out of bed too. I don’t know what I’d do without him. 

For now, I’m at home, enjoying the quiet and slowly preparing for Christmas. Sam and I spend the day eating, sleeping and cuddling. I wrap the occasional Christmas present and try to keep up with the laundry. It’s nice to just relax. And thank God for Amazon.

Sometimes, God finds funny ways to show us what’s best and what we really need. All of my life, I just assumed I’d have a girl. She’d wear those big bows on her bald, baby head. She’d go to Chapelle. She’d follow my footsteps and be a Zeta at LSU. And here I am, a mother to two boys. Two perfectly healthy, beautiful and fun boys. I have to admit, the entire time I was pregnant, I couldn't picture a girl. But I could see, clear as day, Jasper and “Sam” playing together, best friends, brothers. I guess I should’ve known all along. I’ve been pretty emotional these past two weeks, appreciating what God has blessed me with—an amazing husband and two beautiful boys. And I’m slowly letting that “expectation” of a girl go. In fact, I found an article that really hit home for me. It couldn't have come to me at a better time.

17 Things Boys Need From Their Moms

Children need many things from their parents. They need stability, protection, nurturing, and love. They also need other things, different things from each of their parents. I have seen several such lists, and I wanted to add my opinion into the mix.

Because I am a mommy to a little boy, this is what I know. So, here’s the list of things I pray I give to my little guy, in order to help him grow into a good man – the things I think every little boy needs from his mom.

A boy needs:

To be showered with affection - hugs, kisses, all of it. Until he is big enough to not want that anymore. Then he needs you to ruffle his hair, put your hand on his shoulder, and hug him anyway. He needs to know the importance of human contact so that he doesn’t keep it from his wife or children.
To dance – in the car, in the living room, in the front yard. Slow dance, crazy dance, any kind of dancing the song calls for, even if there’s no song at all. He will learn that life has a soundtrack. That there is no moment too small to celebrate, and the big ones….. they almost always call for dancing.
To be told secrets – and let him tell them to you. Big or small. Doesn’t matter what they are. He needs to know that he can always talk to you, about anything. And besides, secrets are fun!
For you to marry the kind of man you want him to be – because he will. His views of marriage are shaped by what he sees from you. He will model himself after the men in his life. The kind of husband he is, the kind of father he is, the kind of man he is. You can’t example that to him, so find someone who will.
To learn the kinds of things that women need – tell him your favorite flower and let him “buy” them for you. Let him take you out to dinner. Let him know that girls like jewelry, and shoes. Let him open doors and hold your hand. Show him what a gentleman looks like.
To appreciate beauty, real beauty – don’t put yourself down in front of him. He will learn to see you like you see you. He will, at some point, think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Let him. Don’t tell him he’s wrong. Let him watch you do your nails, your hair, and your make-up. It won’t make him less “manly”, but it will help him understand that women need to feel beautiful. Hopefully, he’ll spend the rest of his life appreciating the lengths we go to in order to attain that beauty.
Discipline – don’t just let his father do it. He needs to respect that you are a figure of authority also. He needs to know that your voice carries just as much weight. He needs to understand what co-parenting looks like; he’ll do it himself someday.
To respect – he will treat his wife the way he was allowed to treat you. He will treat every woman the way he was allowed to treat you. Show him that the correct way to speak to women is with respect and dignity. He’ll thank you for it some day.
To learn to say ‘sir’ and ‘miss’ - it will take him so far in life. People appreciate this little extra bit of politeness and respect. It can make someone’s day to be made to feel important and appreciated.
Comfort – kiss his boo boo’s, hold him when he needs it. He’ll learn that when it hurts, it’s ok to cry. Eventually your kisses won’t fix everything, but knowing that you want to fix it, that you wish you could heal every one of his broken hearts, it will give him some comfort. It will give him a place to start healing and a spot to launch from when the time comes to get back up.
Responsibility – make him put his own laundry away, take out the trash, and help you do the dishes. Make him earn an allowance to save up for that new guitar, or video game, or baseball equipment. If you don’t, all housework will forever be known as “woman’s work” and nobody wants a man like that. You want him to be the man who will step up and help his wife take care of their home. You want him to learn to take care of the things he has acquired and you want him to know how to work for something he wants.
To learn his lesson – even the hard ones. This is one of the hardest parts. As mothers we want to shield our children from the big, bad world. We want to run to them every time we see them start down a path that will lead no place good. We want to take their place every time they might get hurt. And sometimes they need that. Sometimes they need shielding and protecting. Sometimes they need mom to swoop in and save the day. And sometimes they don’t. They will be more effective adults if they are given the opportunity to learn that actions have consequences. They will be more effective adults if they learn how to walk away or say no themselves. And they will be more effective adults if they learn how to handle disappointment.
To see his mom respect his father – show him every day what respect looks like. Show him the way a wife should treat her husband. If you’re not married to his father, show him the way to co-parent peacefully, with respect. He needs a woman who will respect him. Show him what to look for.
Love, unconditionally – and make sure he knows it. When he’s being sweet and obedient. And when he’s not. Every time my son is in trouble, after he has served out whatever punishment he has earned and/or we have had the necessary discussions, I always tell him I love him. We always end on a positive. I never want him to doubt my love for him and I want him to understand that there is nothing he could do to make my love for him diminish. It is very important to me that he knows my love for him is unconditional.
To talk to his mom about sex – when he’s old enough and the timing is right. Let his dad talk to him, too, but he needs a woman’s perspective. He needs to know the emotional sides to sex and the ways in which he can damage, or love, a woman with them. He needs to have a place he can ask questions and be honest. He needs more than just the facts and the hormones.
His mom to be his biggest fan – whether it be on the t-ball field or at the World Series, his first guitar lesson or a stage, a finger painting or an art gallery masterpiece. Be his biggest fan. The world is full of people just waiting to show him he’s not the best. Let him know, that in your eyes, they will always be wrong.
His mom to be right next to him – through everything. Hold his little body when he’s sick and his hand when he’s broken-hearted. Stand next to him, with pride, on his first day of kindergarten and his high school graduation. Help him fix his tie for his first date and his wedding day. Be the first one to him after the birth of his children. Be right next to him… every time.

Boys, I will always be your biggest fan. I’ll do my best to show you unconditional love every day. Jeremy and I will teach you the importance of respect and responsibility. I’ll kiss your boo-boo’s as long as you’ll let me. And I’ll be there for you as long as God allows.

Love,

Mom

Happy Birthday to Baby!

Today we welcome Baby #2 to our family. Today, Jasper becomes a big brother. Today, we finally find out whether we're having a "Sam" or a "Samantha." When did this all happen? When did we grow up, get married, and become a family? Life is just flying by. I have to say though, it's a really good life. 

If you didn't already know, we have my c-section scheduled today at 10 a.m. At my 35 week ultrasound, we discovered that the baby was HUGE! Weighing approximately 7.3 lbs. when he/she should've been more like 5 lbs., I left the doctor feeling a little bit anxious and nervous to say the least. Almost 5 weeks ago, Baby was in the 95th percentile for size, which basically meant that he/she was bigger than 95% of babies at 35 weeks. The head was measuring as if it were at 40 weeks. After a week of consuming curiosity, I finally met with my doctor at week 36. The conversation went something like this... "Doc, we gotta talk." She responded, "Yeah, your baby is huge. You're gonna have a C-section." Well, that was easy. C section it is! I was a little scared at first, but since then, I've certainly warmed up to the idea. After Jasper's ridiculously painful delivery involving those pesky "hot spots," I have to say that I'm somewhat relieved that I won't have to worry whether the epidural will work this time. We'll arrive around 8 a.m., get prepped, go into surgery around 10 a.m., then have a baby within an hour. Not bad. Not bad at all. We'll celebrate our first Thanksgiving in the hospital, but that's OK. Granny will take Jasper for a turkey lunch in Mandeville, and we'll sit back, enjoy watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and wait for the leftovers to pour in that night. No traveling this year. No cooking. No cleaning. Just family. And I'm perfectly OK with that. 

I hope that Jasper adjusts well. Needless to say, he's been very "comfortable" being the center of attention these past two years and almost four months. As for Callie Mae, she will soon be knocked down to #3 on our list. So if you have time to come by and visit, please do give her some extra love. She could use it!

There were a few pictures from Halloween that I hadn't yet posted, so I figured I should add those this morning. I hope this baby is as good of a sport as Jasper has been when it comes to dressing up! Just wait to see what we have in store for next year's Krewe of Barkus Parade!

Well, I better go get ready for our big day. No more "bowling ball" after today! Thanks for all of the calls, texts and facebook messages. We certainly feel the love. And happiest of Thanksgivings to you, especially this year. This may sound cliche, but there's so very much to be thankful for!

Busy Busy Busy!

Despite some tantrums and a few sleepless nights, Jasper is pretty awesome at this age. He's got such a fun personality. We can get him to say virtually anything we want him to say. And for some reason, it's just so much funnier when he says it. Take for example, the other day in the car, on the way home from work and daycare. Like every weekday, I ask him questions. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: Jasper, did you have a good day at school?

Jasper: Yes, I had a good day.

Me: Were you a good boy?

Jasper: Yes, I good boy.

Me: Jasper, did you eat your ravioli?

Jasper, Yes, I ate ravioli.

Me: What about your grapes, did you eat your grapes?

Jasper: Yes, I ate grapes.

There I sit, feeling so proud, I'm hearing all about his day, firmly believing that he ate all of his food like a good boy. Then Jeremy chimes in...

Jeremy: Jasper, did you eat your dog poop too?

Jasper: Yes, I ate dog poop.

Just awesome. You know how some kids always say "No" to everything? Not our kid. He's the most agreeable 2-year-old around.

It's been an eventful month! I participated in the Alumni Band Half Time (9/14/13) show at 29 weeks pregnant. It was a long day with A LOT of walking, but we had a great time catching up with old friends. Thanks Kevin, for convincing me to participate this year. It was well worth it.

The following week, we brought Jasper up to Baton Rouge for his first tailgate (9/21/13). Granny took the trip up with us to see all the changes to campus. We didn't quite make it to the band hall or even the Union, but we shopped for a good hour in the new bookstore. Jeremy had lots of fun trying to keep up with Jasper as he ran under and around all the displays. We joined Aunt Carol and Aunt Debbie for lunch at the Chimes. The wait was only about three hours!?! But those boudin balls and crab cake sandwiches made it all worth the wait. Jasper learned how to "Tigerbait" Auburn fans, which was pretty awesome, and he spelled "T-I-G-E-R-S" for every friend we ran into. Despite a little bit of rain, it was a pretty special day for us. 

Grandpa has been super involved with his alma mater, Warren Easton. They recently celebrated the school's 100 year anniversary and Grandpa played a big role with developing  a "dedication" to the school and its alums. In the summer heat, Dad was out there, just about every day, designing and building this centennial plaza. His hard work was recognized at the school's celebration/pep rally in September. Dad got to speak and I got some pictures of him with Jackie Clarkson. Even fellow alum, Pete Fountain was there!

Uncle Neil is back in town! Hopefully, he's home to stay, at least, for a long time. Jasper and Nova did some catching up, which is always great to see. Jasper loves his Uncle Neil. Just last Saturday, he couldn't stop talking about wanting to see Uncle Neil, Tia and Nova. We're really looking forward to seeing them more with Neil back in town, hopefully for good!

I should probably give an update on How Baby "Clancy" is doing. Have I mentioned that we gave Baby #2 a nickname? Don't worry. We're not really naming this kid Clancy. The truth is, we love the name, but we know we can't name our kid "Clancy." Anyway, I'm almost 35 weeks pregnant. This whole pregnancy thing finally caught up to me about three weeks ago. I caught a virus and was sick in bed all day. I couldn't keep anything down. I think it was just too much coming and going, and my body finally said, "ENOUGH!!" Fortunately, it didn't last long, and I was able to enjoy Aunt Carol's birthday brunch at Muriel's the following day. No dessert though, which was difficult for me. Back to Clancy... the doctor said that the baby was a little larger than average, in the 74th percentile. So if anyone asks, it's the baby, not me that's gaining all this weight! Due to my epilepsy, we've had a few more ultrasounds than the average expecting mom. Every time, we've been told that the baby is "perfect." So good to hear. And according to babycenter.com, my baby is looking less "wrinkled" each day. Added bonus! Clancy is now the size of a cantaloupe. He/she kicks all day and all night long. My belly is huge and my feet are swelling as we speak. I'm moving much slower, definitely waddling a lot, and I now need help when getting up off the couch. Jeremy now drops me off to work because it takes too much energy to walk from the parking garage. And when we walk back to the car together in the evenings, when those Braxton Hicks contractions kick in, I'm sure people driving past us think that I'm going into labor. Sleeping at night is getting more and more uncomfortable, not to mention the two and three potty breaks per night. But I know, I know, it's all worth it. Damn right.

We celebrated Grammie's birthday last week at her favorite place, Drago's. It turns out that Jasper got his Grammie and Grandpa's creative genes. He wanted to make something special for Grammie for her birthday. Needless to say, it was her favorite gift! Great job Jasper! And of course, our son, being the confident kid he is, said over and over, "I made that, I made that!" ... Happy Birthday Grammie!

A few special Jasper updates... We are so proud to announce that the first word he learned to spell was "T-I-G-E-R-S." Here's a video from 9/17/13 after practicing with Dad the night before. Since then, we've also taught him his name. Next, with the way Les has been coaching, we might have to focus on "Who Dat?!"

He's becoming pretty helpful with things. He opens and closes the back gate for me, like a little gentleman. He knows how to throw his trash away. He picks up the remote for me when I can't quite reach it (since this has become a challenging task the bigger I get). When I drop a piece of ice at the ice maker, he picks it up and throws it in the sink. He's certainly making progress...

Oh, two weekends ago, he and Daddy worked on some potty training while I was away on my girls' trip. We're in no rush with the potty training, and frankly, I feel weird mentioning details of it in my blog, but I do have to admit, I was pretty excited to get my video text message from Jasper telling me "Mommy, I pee pee'd in the potty!" OK, I'll stop there. Don't want to lose readers... and don't worry, no pictures.

Don't get me wrong, life is hectic. I'm still constantly struggling to keep up with laundry and the dust that fills up my house. I step on toys all day, every day. I'm tired a lot and I know it's only going to get worse. Kira said, with two kids, she lives tired. I'm sure that will be me. But, God, he makes us so happy. His laughter literally fills us up with joy and when he smiles, it feels like all is right with the world. I didn't expect it to be this good. I didn't know that someone could impact us the way he has. So much that I didn't understand as a kid makes sense now, like why my mom did things the way she did. And did I mention how he's absolutely the perfect play mate for Daddy too! Now, if only I could teach them both, no throwing things in the house!!

I'm getting anxious about Baby #2 and how he/she will fit into our family. I can't wait to see what he/she looks like. I certainly hope that this delivery goes much more smoothly that the last one. But if it doesn't, I'll live and recover just like last time. And afterward, Jasper will be a big brother. Poor Callie. Down to #3 on our list...

See ya later Summer!

Good news folks, we are slowly and steadily conquering those terrible twos! Don't get me wrong. Every now and then he still bursts out screaming and crying for no particular reason. But we ignore it, step over him and move on. Once in a while one of us will still lose it, but for the most part, it really is getting better.

In mid July, Mom and the aunts came over with Jasper's new bed. Aunt Carol had the bed refinished and it looks brand new. In fact, as soon as we put the mattress on it, he became a jumping bean! Jeremy and I weren't expecting to move him over to his new room for a few more weeks, but Jasper really didn't give us a choice. He slept in his new room that night! No crying or fussing. Since then, we've had a few off nights, but for the most part, he goes to bed pretty happy. The routine helps of course... bath time, bottle, "time for bed!" - he grabs as many cars and trains as he can carry and brings them all to his bed. Then he hops in the bed and we say our prayer, "Now I lay me down to sleep..." He even says it with us now, which seriously makes my heart melt. When he's in a really good mood, I get all smiles and even a "Goodnight Mommy" and/or "I love you Mommy." This is what makes it all worth it. A big thank you again to Aunt Carol for the new bed. It looks wonderful in his new room! Oh, and the desk and chair were an early birthday present from Grammie and PawPaw. I'm sure we'll be making good use of that desk for quite a few years!

Well, Mom's annual beach trip came and went. I waited all summer long to get some good beach time in and it was over in a flash. Thanks to Mom and the aunts for putting up with us, and especially for giving us the master bedroom. We got some good family time in and it was nice to have Tony "grace us with his presence." Every morning, Jasper would open the bedroom door, walk over to Tony snoozing on the couch, and wake him up with hugs and kisses. When we weren't at the beach or at the pool, Jasper was watching his favorite movie, Cars, and relaxing with Granny. We took walks on the beach with Aunt Carol and Aunt Debbie, and Jasper had fun getting splashed by the waves. 

We got home from the beach that Sunday night and I stayed up late making "starr" cupcakes for Jasper's class to celebrate his second birthday. Despite jury duty threatening our birthday dinner plans, I'm happy to say we had a great night at Giorlando's with just us and the grandparents. Half the restaurant sang along to "Happy Birthday" and we all pigged out on cookie cake. Jasper got a ton of new clothes and some more toys along with some birthday money! The following day, we picked up his present from Toys R Us. I'm happy to say it took us less than an hour to put it together! Not bad, not bad at all.

 

 

Next came the birthday party. I don't know why I do this to myself. Last year was pure chaos. And even after cutting the list down to almost half the guests, it was again, pure chaos. It didn't help that "Daddy" woke up sick as could be with strep Saturday morning. I've honestly never seen him that bad. He moved from the bed to the couch, then finally, with some pushing from me and Mom, to Urgent Care. I have a new appreciation for single moms. Between trying to finish my "street car project" for the party, taking care of Jasper, entertaining Jasper, fitting in lunch with Kira and picking up around our disaster of a house, I finally lost it around 6 p.m. Yep. Full on screaming, slamming things, and finally taking a moment to simply cry outside--not Jasper, me. Relief finally came when Grammie  and PawPaw showed up to take Jasper out to dinner. PawPaw was sure to walk him around the restaurant til he was good and tired. They dropped him off at 9:30, already passed out. I had never been so thankful for the help.

The next day was the party. We had a great turnout. Big thanks again to our friends and family that attended, especially the out of towners. Jasper now has more clothes and toys than we know what to do with! Just like last year, he napped through half the party. But that was to be expected. Aunt Jessica made her most amazing cake yet, a New Orleans streetcar! She had a little Elmo alongside, and Elmo cupcakes too! Her talents and creativity just amaze me!  

During the party, we finally had the opportunity to ask Cristi Jo if she'd be the godmother to Baby #2. She didn't actually believe us when Jeremy asked. But when she finally came around, and realized we were serious, she happily accepted and had us all in tears. Godparents picked, check! 

We took Jasper to his first movie last weekend. Grammie and PawPaw joined us in Elmwood to see "Planes." After thirty-something-dollars worth of movie tickets and forty-something-dollars worth of food, we were set to go! Jasper was a little overwhelmed at first and started crying during the previews. But once we sat him in my lap and gave him some french fries, popcorn and some of my icee, he was good as gold. He watched the movie in may lap, all but the last 10 minutes when he finally passed out. I've honestly never seen him sit still for that long. 

We've played putt putt a few times in the last month. Let me explain Jasper's putt putt strategy... He walks up to the hole, places the ball about two inches away from the hole, drags his putter with one hand, pushing the ball into the hole and excitedly yells, "I did it!" every single hole. He makes sure Daddy hears him too, and if there's every any doubt, he runs over to Daddy and yells, "Daddy, I did it!" Adorable. The only issue is Hole 18. He gets really upset when the ball disappears, which makes a perfectly fun experience end on a sour note. To avoid future meltdowns, I'm considering purchasing and stocking up on various colored golf balls. In the meantime, thank God for those mechanical motorcycles and trains outside the arcade...quickly back to all smiles!

Finally, Jasper's doing a few new things I want to mention. He is counting a lot more, singing his ABCs pretty much on his own, and saying most of his prayer at night too, followed by an "AMEN!" He's been in a really good mood this past week, with fewer and shorter tantrums. When he's happy, he's really happy and energetic. But when he's in a mood, it's best to just give him some milk and wait for him to chill out. We practice with right and left, and thanks to our letter and number bath toys, we're "spelling" and "counting" in the bath tub (if you want to call it that.) He asks "What's that?" to basically everything he sees and hears. He's obsessed with watching "Cars" over and over and over again. He's starting to try a few more foods besides just french fries, yogurt and fruit. He's getting better and better at 'please' and "thank you" and sometimes even, "I'm sorry." He shares with Callie a lot, so much so that she has put on an extra five pounds. He throws away his own trash, likes wiping his hands when they get messy, and with football season back in full swing, he's chanting "LSU" and "Geeeauuuxxx Tiguuuuhhhsss!" on command.

Granny took Jasper for his 2-year old appointment last week and Dr. Culbertson said he was "perfect." Jeremy and I, along with the grandparents absolutely, positively concur. I have to say, after watching the news day in and day out, and reading all kinds of crazy, sometimes tragic stories on the internet, I can't help but feel so lucky and blessed. He may give us a run for our money and even cause me to lose my mind once in a while, but he really is the best thing that ever happened to us. Just when I've had enough, he turns around and smiles, and all is right with the world.Gotta run... he's about to nose dive off the couch... again.

Happy Football Season!