Highs and Lows

I blinked and now it's a few hours before Christmas Eve. Jasper and Sam are growing so fast. Did we take enough pictures? Did we create enough good memories for them? Are they happy? Are we teaching them well? Are they healthy? Are they polite? Am I doing enough? Those are just a few of the thousands of thoughts I have daily as a mother. And when I'm not worrying whether Sam is talking enough  and if Jasper finished his homework, I'm wondering what I did right to have all of this wonderful. I think of Charlotte sometimes, from Sex and the City when she tells Carrie that she has everything she has ever wanted and that she is so happy she's terrified. 

The past four months have been filled with highs and lows. My heart is heavy, and my chin is quivering as I think of the lows. We lost a beautiful, fascinating and kind family friend in October, one that I looked up to for as long as I can remember. And if that wasn't hard enough, the following week, my dear friend lost her newborn baby. I spend most of my time on this blog talking about how great life is. The truth is that it is great most of the time. But for whatever reason, bad things happen. Even to good people. Our challenge is to rise above them and be grateful for the life we have, and to make the most of it. I'll fondly remember Christine and her smile. I'll remember sharing the ladder with her at Mardi Gras. I'll do my best to stop asking why. I'll pray for Ann and her family that they find peace. I'll remind her as I work to remind myself, it was God's plan to take Tabitha. I'll continue to believe that He is good and that everything happens according to His plan. Because that's the only way this all makes sense to me. I have to have faith because there's no other way to live. I hope our boys feel the same way when they're faced with difficult moments in life.

"This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." OK, so I may not be glad every day. Some days are just hard, like hearing that Christine was gone while I was on vacation, and finding out that the baby I was going to visit on Saturday had suddenly passed away Wednesday morning. Not to mention, seeing my husband's favorite person in the world decline because of this despicable disease we call ALS. But life is still good. Today is a new day, a new opportunity to bring happiness to yourself and others. I'll choose to make the most of it; if not for me, then for Jeremy, Jasper and Sam. Because they are my highs that get me through my lows.

Looking back at the highs too, because they're the best parts of life, and they get us through the lows, since August, we celebrated many birthdays and ate a lot of cake. We tailgated with good friends and cheered for our Tigers. We watched family and friends come out to support Mike as he battles ALS. We watched our boys explore and learn. We watched them interact with each other and take care of one another. We made new friends. We tried new recipes and they came out pretty good. We dressed in costume and silly hats and made fools of ourselves. We drank wine. We danced. We traveled to the mountains to see the leaves change and spend time with Mike and our family. We kissed and hugged each other. We paraded at the Krewe of Jingle Parade. We sang Christmas songs all month long, Sam too. We made good memories. And if all of that wasn't enough, Neil proposed to Tia on December 16th, and they got married that same day! I'm so happy for them, and that I have a new sister. 

See. Life IS good. Don't ever let the lows make you think otherwise. Look at all of the people around you this Christmas. Your family and friends. Appreciate them and have fun together. Be silly. Listen. Take pictures. Eat plenty of turkey too. Be someone's "high."

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours. Here's to a 2016 full of many highs and very few lows. 

Boys, every time I look at you, even when you're being really bad or full of dirt and food, you are positively my highs. I love you and you make me so happy.

Jasper's 4th birthday party at the Monkey Room, 8/29/15

 Jasper and his buddy Aidan celebrating at their 4th birthday party

Goofing off at home during the LSU/ Miss State game, 9/12/15

A good, wholesome game of tackle

Bath time with my Sammy, 9/22/15

Movie night at St. Francis with Jasper and his friend, Jackson, 9/26/15

More tackle, this time, during the Saints game, 9/27/15

Joy and Mike at Iris Coronation, 10/3/15

Denis, Casey and us at Iris Coronation

 Celebrating Joy's birthday at Drago's (Sammy was sick), 10/16/15

Best buddies

Jasper and Kate at the ALS Walk, 10/17/15

Family picture at the ALS Walk (Sam was still sick)

All of Mike's supporters at the ALS Walk

Jasper, a.k.a. Buzz Lightyear! at the SFX Trunk or Treat, 10/17/15

Our awesome friends, Tracey, Bobby and Kate at Trunk or Treat

Jasper with his buddies, telling the girls to "keep out!"

Not a bad family photo considering Sam was sick but we drug him out anyway... 10/17/15

Gatlinburg sight-seeing, 10/19/15

Jeremy and his Nannan with Sam in Ober Gatlinburg, 10/20/15

Nova's surprise birthday party 

 Awesome family picture of these four, 10/21/15

Another awesome family picture of four

Jasper hanging on PawPaw

A happy Sam, finally feeling better

Kings of the world!

Shopping on the strip with Granny, 10/22/15

Me and Nova on the hayride, 10/22/15

Jasper and Aiden in Dollywood, 10/23/15

Halloween 2015

Granny and "Woody"

Family Trick or Treating in Lakeview

Nova and Jasper

Aiden, already driving!

Uncle Neil with his boys

Sammy throwing hay all over Granny

LSU Tailgating, 11/14/15

Relaxing at the tailgate with Aunt Carol

Me and my girl

We even convince Granny to come up and tailgate!

Goofing off with Uncle Kevin

The Fab 4!

Celebrating Sam's 2nd birthday, 11/15/15

Sammy feeding Cici some ice cream

Happiest when he has the football!

I may be the only one in the family that can get him to willingly take a picture 

AND smile. I must be his favorite!

Sammy getting some help from Grandpa with opening his presents

Mike and Les

Cristi-Jo, Jeremy and Nannan

Happy 2nd birthday my little turkey!

After everyone left, Aimee, Les and I had our own party!

Sam, the little linebacker 

Christmas Parade, Krewe of Jingle - my two lady killers! 12/5/15

Visiting the Roosevelt at Christmas time, 12/12/15

Daddy and Sammy

Me and Jasper

Me and the boys with the 610 Stompers, 12/12/15

I don't always dress them the same. But when I do, it's in matching Mr. Bingle pajamas, 12/13/15

Grammie and her boys

Mom and Dad tied the knot! 12/16/15

Congratulations you two. We love you!

Happy couple

My Katrina story

I never get tired of hearing people's "Katrina" stories. Each one is different. Each one is difficult. And each one is intriguing. Boys, in case you ever wonder what Hurricane Katrina was like for us, more so me, here it is. Who knows, in another ten or twenty years, I might leave things out, so I figured it was best to write it all down for you now.

It was my second semester of grad school. I knew your dad from class, but only for a few months. I remember the Friday before the storm. I had a meeting with the assistant dean of the Mass Comm school and we discussed ideas for my thesis. I was at a loss. I had no idea what I'd write about. Her only advice was to find something that I was passionate about. I remember going back to my apartment after that meeting and getting a call from Dad. He said, "What are you going to do about the storm?" My reply was, "What storm?"

That weekend, Mom, Carol and Debbie had come up to Baton Rouge to spend the day with me and go shopping. We shopped all day and when it was time for them to head home, after listening to the news, they casually mentioned going home, packing up some things, and coming back up to stay with me at my apartment for a couple days. They were in no hurry. In fact, they waited so long to leave on Sunday that it took them eight hours to get to Baton Rouge from Metairie. We rode out the storm in my apartment on College Drive, and ended up being without electricity for several days. Maggie Mae (Mom's favorite dog) was with us and she was so hot and miserable. She was already pretty old, not to mention she had a very thick coat. Mom and Carol would take turns sitting in the car with her so she could get some much needed AC. We played Dominoes a lot. We listened to the radio every day. Once the LSU Union had electricity, we'd hang out there for a few hours at my office (I was a grad assistant for the Program Council). It was so hot, and the apartment got so crowded. Once the electricity came back on, we still didn't know if our houses had flooded. They weren't letting anyone back into the city. So they stayed longer. I remember trying to get some space by going to study at CC's but all of the coffee shops were already so full of people doing the same thing I was doing.

I spent hours on the computer searching for information to find out what areas were flooded. Then, I found it. Mom's neighbor's daughter-in-law had posted a comment on some message board giving the address, saying that her in-laws had water, and that their house was higher than the two houses next door. As sad as we were about the water, we were also very concerned about looters. I remember driving in the car and hearing Ray Nagin yelling "We need help down here!" Certain parts during that time are still so vivid.

I kept in touch with Dad. He, Cindy and his mother had ridden out the storm in Metairie. His neighborhood didn't flood, but the area was unsafe and he knew they needed to leave. He told me a story about driving along the levee to get out of the city. He ended up in Florida for a little while. Uncle Rudy rode out the storm too, in his Lake Avenue apartment just on the other side of where the levee broke. As crazy as he was for staying, we were actually grateful...

We were finally allowed back into the city two weeks after the hurricane had hit, and we drove down with our neighbors, the Pecquets, to see our homes for the first time "post-Katrina." I remember talking to Dad the night before and asking him what to do about the house. I said, "How do you pull out carpet?" That's when he called Uncle Rudy. I remember getting instructions on bringing cans of coke and plenty of ice. He hadn't had ice in two weeks. We pulled into the driveway, and I handed Uncle Rudy an ice cold coke. You should've seen his face. Then we walked in to find wet carpet, mold that had grown three feet up the walls, ruined furniture and a smell that will stay with all New Orleanians for the rest of their lives. Mom walked around the house, in shock, slowly trying to take it all in. Thank God, the Pecquets didn't get water, so Mr. Wally and Uncle Rudy got to work pulling out carpet. I started packing things, whatever valuable items she wanted to take with us. She was devastated. I don't remember seeing tears, but I do remember she was speechless. When Carol and Debbie didn't immediately come back over to meet us, we assumed that they had gotten water too.

We had eight to ten inches of water, and a little more in the garage. But it wasn't nearly as bad as so many others we knew. I remember Denis sending me a picture of his mom's house in St. Bernard. The ceiling fan was wilted like a flower, and the dress his mom had hung up high on the door sill (just in case they got a little water) was completely ruined by the high water. I can't imagine, looking back on everything, if this were to happen to us now. Where would we go? What would we do for work? Where would the boys go to school? We'd have to leave and when would we be able to come home?

Mom, Carol and Debbie stayed with me for a month and it was just too much for all of us. There was so much tension. I had no where to go for privacy or to study. And I know Mom felt terrible about it because as I'd walk in, she'd walk out, trying to give me my space. By the time she left my apartment, we weren't speaking, which is really weird for us. She lived with Aunt Pat for the next few months, and at Christmas, I stayed there too. It was a very somber and difficult time. Families can only take so much time together before cracking. On the morning after Christmas day, Mom called and requested a FEMA trailer.

The trailer came some time around Martin Luther King Day, and you'd think we had won the lottery. We were never so excited to get a tiny, portable box with a bed and fridge. It was perfect and it was home. For the next seven months, (there really is no politically correct way to say this) all kinds of Mexicans worked in our house, restoring the walls and details of our home. There was such a demand for workers, and many of them were thieves. If it wasn't nailed down, they'd steal it. I remember at Mardi Gras time, the contractor had taken all of our Mardi Gras ladders. When we called to get them back, he showed up with three ladders that weren't ours. We took them and didn't ask questions. And then there was that morning during Mardi Gras when a giant carload of them appeared in our driveway. Mom and I were thrilled as they literally climbed out like clowns in a clown car. Then we noticed something... One would go in the house, then come out, then another, then another. That was when Mom suddenly realized. They were all coming to take their morning crap. That's right. Mom was nice and left one toilet in the house just in case someone needed to use it. Well, they used it alright, all of them. And to top it off, the last one walked out of our garage with our dolly. That's when Mom stormed out of the trailer and started yelling at all of them. Needless to say, they didn't work on our house that day.

I still think about Mardi Gras the year following Katrina, and how the rest of the US criticized us for hosting it. How could we spend all of those dollars on beads when we should focus on rebuilding? Outsiders will never understand how much Mardi Gras is a part of us. It was like one giant family reunion. "Where ya been? How'd ya make out? When ya comin' back?" That was Mardi Gras 2006. Remember, Facebook wasn't what it is now.

Mom moved back in to the house July 5, 2006. I remember because she had a pool party on the 4th. Everyone was invited and they had to bring their own chairs because we didn't have any. I figured out my thesis too. I studied the media coverage on federal, state and local levels, analyzing the blame, among other things, in the aftermath of the hurricane. I read hundreds of articles on the hurricane. I read about people stuck in the Superdome for days without food and help, I read about two-story homes completely flooded, and how important it was to keep an ax in your attic. I read how a man killed a looter in his house and told a policeman. The policeman told him to just put the body out on the curb. I read that a family lost their grandmother during the storm and had to put her in the refrigerator in hopes of finding her later. Can you imagine?

But the city rebuilt itself. Neighborhoods slowly came back. And look at us now (aside from my pesky neighbor)! As depressing as it all was when it was happening, we've certainly come a long way, and I can't imagine living anywhere else. I need Mardi Gras like I need water. And the same goes for CC's Coffee, City Park, beignets, Blue Runner Red Beans, and so much more. They asked Leah Chase on the news today, "Did you ever consider not coming back?" Her answer was no. I would have to agree. It wouldn't be a question of "if," just when.

Happy Anniversary to all of us and I hope we never have to go through another "Katrina" ever again.